You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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