If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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