I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize