this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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