Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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