I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize