Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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