It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
