If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
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If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
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Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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