Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize