First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize