Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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