Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize