i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
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Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
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Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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