I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize