would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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