I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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