5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
i out mim tonsoeep
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