I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
there was a trapeze. enough said
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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