I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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