I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize