Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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