Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I just made out with a guy for $7.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
3pm strippers are depressing
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
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