A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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