I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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