Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I wear drunk well.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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