some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize