i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize