I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
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Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
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Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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