yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize