Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize