There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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