I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
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I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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