she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize