eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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