He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize