I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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