'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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