forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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