Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
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I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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