I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize