We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
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During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
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ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I believe in your delicious
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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