I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize