Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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