Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize