capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize