fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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