things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize