She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize