If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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