she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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