She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize